The Book of Social Manners
People Whose Friendship and Association is Necessary
1ـ عِدَّةٌ مِنْ أَصْحَابِنَا عَنْ أَحْمَدَ بْنِ مُحَمَّدٍ عَنْ حُسَيْنِ بْنِ الْحَسَنِ عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ سِنَانٍ عَنْ عَمَّارِ بْنِ مُوسَى عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ الله (عَلَيهِ السَّلام) قَالَ قَالَ أَمِيرُ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ (عَلَيهِ السَّلام) لا عَلَيْكَ أَنْ تَصْحَبَ ذَا الْعَقْلِ وَإِنْ لَمْ تَحْمَدْ كَرَمَهُ وَلَكِنِ انْتَفِعْ بِعَقْلِهِ وَاحْتَرِسْ مِنْ سَيِّئِ أَخْلاقِهِ وَلا تَدَعَنَّ صُحْبَةَ الْكَرِيمِ وَإِنْ لَمْ تَنْتَفِعْ بِعَقْلِهِ وَلَكِنِ انْتَفِعْ بِكَرَمِهِ بِعَقْلِكَ وَافْرِرْ كُلَّ الْفِرَارِ مِنَ اللَّئِيمِ الأحْمَقِ.
1. A number of our people have narrated from Ahmad ibn Muhammad from Husayn ibn al-Hassan from Muhammad ibn Sinan from ‘Ammar ibn Musa from Abu ‘Abdillah (a.s.) who has said the following: “Amir al-Mu’minin, Ali ibn abu Talib (a.s.) has said, ‘It is not against you to associate with a person of reason even though you may not appreciate his generosity but you can benefit from his reason. However, you must avoid his immoral manners. Do not ignore the association of a magnanimous person, even though you may not benefit from his reason but you can benefit from his magnanimity by the help of your own reason. Flee, very far away from a power- hungry, irrational person.’”
2ـ عَنْهُ عَنْ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنِ أَبِي نَجْرَانَ عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ الصَّلْتِ عَنْ أَبَانٍ عَنْ أَبِي الْعُدَيْسِ قَالَ قَالَ أَبُو جَعْفَرٍ (عَلَيهِ السَّلام) يَا صَالِحُ اتَّبِعْ مَنْ يُبْكِيكَ وَهُوَ لَكَ نَاصِحٌ وَلا تَتَّبِعْ مَنْ يُضْحِكُكَ وَهُوَ لَكَ غَاشٌّ وَسَتَرِدُونَ عَلَى الله جَمِيعاً فَتَعْلَمُونَ.
2. It is narrated from him (narrator of the Hadith above) from ‘Abd al-Rahman ibn abu Najran from Muhammad ibn al-Salt from Aban from abu al-’Udays who has said the following: “O Salih, follow the one who makes you cry while providing good advice and do not follow the one who makes you laugh but is cheating. You will all return to Allah and will find out.”
3ـ عَنْهُ عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ عَلِيٍّ عَنْ مُوسَى بْنِ يَسَارٍ الْقَطَّانِ عَنِ الْمَسْعُودِيِّ عَنْ أَبِي دَاوُدَ عَنْ ثَابِتِ بْنِ أَبِي صَخْرَةَ عَنْ أَبِي الزَّعْلَى قَالَ قَالَ أَمِيرُ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ (عَلَيهِ السَّلام) قَالَ رَسُولُ الله (صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وآلِه) انْظُرُوا مَنْ تُحَادِثُونَ فَإِنَّهُ لَيْسَ مِنْ أَحَدٍ يَنْزِلُ بِهِ الْمَوْتُ إِلا مُثِّلَ لَهُ أَصْحَابُهُ إِلَى الله إِنْ كَانُوا خِيَاراً فَخِيَاراً وَإِنْ كَانُوا شِرَاراً فَشِرَاراً وَلَيْسَ أَحَدٌ يَمُوتُ إِلا تَمَثَّلْتُ لَهُ عِنْدَ مَوْتِهِ.
3. It is narrated from him (narrator of the Hadith above) from Muhammad ibn Ali from Musa ibn Yasar al-Qattan from al-Mas’udi from Dawud from Thabit ibn abu Sakhrah from abu al-Za’Li who has said the following: “Amir al-Mu’minin, Ali ibn abu Talib (a.s.) has said that the Messenger of Allah has said, ‘Consider who you talk to (make friendship). Everyone after death will find the forms of his associates in the presence of Allah; these forms follow the worldly origins. A good form is from a good origin and an evil form is from an evil origin. At the time of his death everyone observes me in my person.’”
4ـ عَلِيُّ بْنُ إِبْرَاهِيمَ عَنْ أَبِيهِ عَنِ ابْنِ أَبِي عُمَيْرٍ عَنْ بَعْضِ الْحَلَبِيِّينَ عَنْ عَبْدِ الله بْنِ مُسْكَانَ عَنْ رَجُلٍ مِنْ أَهْلِ الْجَبَلِ لَمْ يُسَمِّهِ قَالَ قَالَ أَبُو عَبْدِ الله (عَلَيهِ السَّلام) عَلَيْكَ بِالتِّلادِ وَإِيَّاكَ وَكُلَّ مُحْدَثٍ لا عَهْدَ لَهُ وَلا أَمَانَ وَلا ذِمَّةَ وَلا مِيثَاقَ وَكُنْ عَلَى حَذَرٍ مِنْ أَوْثَقِ النَّاسِ عِنْدَكَ.
4. Ali ibn Ibrahim has narrated from his father from Ibn Abi ‘Umayr from certain individuals from al-Halab from ‘Abd Allah ibn Muskan from a man from people of al-Jabal whose name is not mentioned and who has said the following: “You should maintain good relations with your old associates and friends, be cautious about a new one who does not have any protection, responsibility, or commitment and always avoid (caution) the one whom you trust the most.”
5ـ عِدَّةٌ مِنْ أَصْحَابِنَا عَنْ أَحْمَدَ بْنِ مُحَمَّدٍ رَفَعَهُ إِلَى أَبِي عَبْدِ الله (عَلَيهِ السَّلام) قَالَ أَحَبُّ إِخْوَانِي إِلَيَّ مَنْ أَهْدَى إِلَيَّ عُيُوبِي.
5. A number of our people have narrated from Ahmad ibn Muhammad in a marfu’ manner from Abu ‘Abdillah (a.s.) who has said the following: “To me, the most beloved of my brethren (friends) is the one who most points out my defects to me.”
6ـ عِدَّةٌ مِنْ أَصْحَابِنَا عَنْ أَحْمَدَ بْنِ مُحَمَّدٍ عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ الْحَسَنِ عَنْ عُبَيْدِ الله الدِّهْقَانِ عَنْ أَحْمَدَ بْنِ عَائِذٍ عَنْ عُبَيْدِ الله الْحَلَبِيِّ عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ الله (عَلَيهِ السَّلام) قَالَ لا تَكُونُ الصَّدَاقَةُ إِلا بِحُدُودِهَا فَمَنْ كَانَتْ فِيهِ هَذِهِ الْحُدُودُ أَوْ شَيْءٌ مِنْهَا فَانْسُبْهُ إِلَى الصَّدَاقَةِ وَمَنْ لَمْ يَكُنْ فِيهِ شَيْءٌ مِنْهَا فَلا تَنْسُبْهُ إِلَى شَيْءٍ مِنَ الصَّدَاقَةِ فَأَوَّلُهَا أَنْ تَكُونَ سَرِيرَتُهُ وَعَلانِيَتُهُ لَكَ وَاحِدَةً وَالثَّانِي أَنْ يَرَى زَيْنَكَ زَيْنَهُ وَشَيْنَكَ شَيْنَهُ وَالثَّالِثَةُ أَنْ لا تُغَيِّرَهُ عَلَيْكَ وِلايَةٌ وَلا مَالٌ وَالرَّابِعَةُ أَنْ لا يَمْنَعَكَ شَيْئاً تَنَالُهُ مَقْدُرَتُهُ وَالْخَامِسَةُ وَهِيَ تَجْمَعُ هَذِهِ الْخِصَالَ أَنْ لا يُسْلِمَكَ عِنْدَ النَّكَبَاتِ.
6. A number of our people have narrated from Ahmad ibn Muhammad from Muhammad ibn al-Hassan from ‘Ubayd Allah al-Dehqan from Ahmad ibn ‘A’idh from ‘Ubayd Allah al-Halabi from Abu ‘Abdillah (a.s.) who has said the following: “There can be no friendship without its rules. You may call one a friend only when he follows such rules and those who do not follow such rules cannot be called a friend. First of all a friend must be the same inside and outside. Secondly, he must consider your beauty his own beauty and your flaw as his flaw. Thirdly that he does not change because of high position and wealth. Fourth, that he does not hold back from you what is within his capabilities. Fifth, with the above, he does not leave you out in unfortunate circumstances.”
The Book of Social Manners
Those Whose Association and Friendship Is Undesirable
1ـ عِدَّةٌ مِنْ أَصْحَابِنَا عَنْ أَحْمَدَ بْنِ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ خَالِدٍ عَنْ عَمْرِو بْنِ عُثْمَانَ عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ سَالِمٍ الْكِنْدِيِّ عَمَّنْ حَدَّثَهُ عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ الله (عَلَيهِ السَّلام) قَالَ كَانَ أَمِيرُ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ (عَلَيهِ السَّلام) إِذَا صَعِدَ الْمِنْبَرَ قَالَ يَنْبَغِي لِلْمُسْلِمِ أَنْ يَتَجَنَّبَ مُوَاخَاةَ ثَلاثَةٍ الْمَاجِنِ الْفَاجِرِ وَالأحْمَقِ وَالْكَذَّابِ فَأَمَّا الْمَاجِنُ الْفَاجِرُ فَيُزَيِّنُ لَكَ فِعْلَهُ وَيُحِبُّ أَنَّكَ مِثْلُهُ وَلا يُعِينُكَ عَلَى أَمْرِ دِينِكَ وَمَعَادِكَ وَمُقَارَبَتُهُ جَفَاءٌ وَقَسْوَةٌ وَمَدْخَلُهُ وَمَخْرَجُهُ عَارٌ عَلَيْكَ وَأَمَّا الأحْمَقُ فَإِنَّهُ لا يُشِيرُ عَلَيْكَ بِخَيْرٍ وَلا يُرْجَى لِصَرْفِ السُّوءِ عَنْكَ وَلَوْ أَجْهَدَ نَفْسَهُ وَرُبَّمَا أَرَادَ مَنْفَعَتَكَ فَضَرَّكَ فَمَوْتُهُ خَيْرٌ مِنْ حَيَاتِهِ وَسُكُوتُهُ خَيْرٌ مِنْ نُطْقِهِ وَبُعْدُهُ خَيْرٌ مِنْ قُرْبِهِ وَأَمَّا الْكَذَّابُ فَإِنَّهُ لا يَهْنِئُكَ مَعَهُ عَيْشٌ يَنْقُلُ حَدِيثَكَ وَيَنْقُلُ إِلَيْكَ الْحَدِيثَ كُلَّمَا أَفْنَى أُحْدُوثَةً مَطَرَهَا بِأُخْرَى مِثْلِهَا حَتَّى إِنَّهُ يُحَدِّثُ بِالصِّدْقِ فَمَا يُصَدَّقُ وَيُفَرِّقُ بَيْنَ النَّاسِ بِالْعَدَاوَةِ فَيُنْبِتُ السَّخَائِمَ فِي الصُّدُورِ فَاتَّقُوا الله عَزَّ وَجَلَّ وَانْظُرُوا لأنْفُسِكُمْ.
1. A number of our people have narrated from Ahmad ibn Muhammad ibn Khalid from ‘Amr Aban ibn ‘Uthman ‘Uthman from Muhammad ibn Salim al-Kindy from those whom he has mentioned (in his book) from Abu ‘Abdillah (a.s.) who has said the following: “When Amir al-Mu’minin, Ali ibn abu Talib (a.s.) were to take his place on the pulpit he would say, ‘A Muslim, must avoid friendship with three kinds of people: A bold-faced indecent, an idiot and a liar. A bold-faced- indecent person attempts to make his acts seem attractive to you and loves that you behave like he does. Fie does not assist you in your religious matters and the matters of the hereafter. Closeness to him is injustice, hardheartedness, and his coming and going is disgrace for you. ‘An idiotic person does not indicate anything good for you, nor is there any hope in him to remove any bit of evil from you even if he may try his best. Perhaps he may want to benefit you, instead he only harms you. His death is better than his living, his silence is better than his speaking, and his being at a distance is better than his being nearby. ‘The liar is one with whom you can never have a happy life. Fie carries your words out and others’ words in to you. Whenever he may run out of words he then mixes them with others so much so that even when speaking the truth is not believed and he causes differences among people with animosity to sow envy in the hearts. You must be pious before Allah, the Most Majestic, the Most Floly, and look after your own souls.’”
2ـ وَفِي رِوَايَةِ عَبْدِ الأعْلَى عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ الله (عَلَيهِ السَّلام) قَالَ قَالَ أَمِيرُ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ (عَلَيهِ السَّلام) لا يَنْبَغِي لِلْمَرْءِ الْمُسْلِمِ أَنْ يُوَاخِيَ الْفَاجِرَ فَإِنَّهُ يُزَيِّنُ لَهُ فِعْلَهُ وَيُحِبُّ أَنْ يَكُونَ مِثْلَهُ وَلا يُعِينُهُ عَلَى أَمْرِ دُنْيَاهُ وَلا أَمْرِ مَعَادِهِ وَمَدْخَلُهُ إِلَيْهِ وَمَخْرَجُهُ مِنْ عِنْدِهِ شَيْنٌ عَلَيْهِ.
2. In the Hadith of ‘Abd al-‘Ala’ from Abu ‘Abdillah (a.s.) it is said that Amir al-Mu’minin, Ali ibn abu Talib (a.s.) said: “It is not proper for a Muslim man to become a friend of an indecent person; he tries to make his deeds seem attractive to him and loves that one to behave like him (indecent). He does not assist him in his religious matters or the matters of the hereafter. The coming and going of an indecent person is a disgrace to one.”
3ـ عِدَّةٌ مِنْ أَصْحَابِنَا عَنْ أَحْمَدَ بْنِ مُحَمَّدٍ عَنْ عُثْمَانَ بْنِ عِيسَى عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ يُوسُفَ عَنْ مُيَسِّرٍ عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ الله (عَلَيهِ السَّلام) قَالَ لا يَنْبَغِي لِلْمَرْءِ الْمُسْلِمِ أَنْ يُوَاخِيَ الْفَاجِرَ وَلا الأحْمَقَ وَلا الْكَذَّابَ.
3. A number of our people have narrated from Ahmad ibn Muhammad from ‘Uthman ibn ‘Isa from Muhammad ibn Yusuf from Maysir from Abu ‘Abdillah (a.s.) who has said the following: “It is not proper for a Muslim man to become friends with an indecent, an idiot and a liar.”
4ـ عِدَّةٌ مِنْ أَصْحَابِنَا عَنْ سَهْلِ بْنِ زِيَادٍ عَنْ عَلِيِّ بْنِ أَسْبَاطٍ عَنْ بَعْضِ أَصْحَابِهِ عَنْ أَبِي الْحَسَنِ (عَلَيهِ السَّلام) قَالَ قَالَ عِيسَى ابْنُ مَرْيَمَ (عَلَيهِما السَّلام) إِنَّ صَاحِبَ الشَّرِّ يُعْدِي وَقَرِينَ السَّوْءِ يُرْدِي فَانْظُرْ مَنْ تُقَارِنُ.
4. A number of our people have narrated from Sahl ibn Ziyad from Ali ibn Asbat from certain individuals of his people from Abu al-Hassan (a.s.) who has said the following: “Jesus, son of Mary has said, ‘An evil companion commits injustice and an evil friend brings destruction. Consider who to become friends with.’”