Man Lā Yaḥḍuruh al-Faqīh

4809 - وَ فِي خَبَرٍ آخَرَ: "وَ اَلَّتِي قَدْ يَئِسَتْ مِنَ اَلْمَحِيضِ".

Hadith.4809 - And in another narration: "And the woman who has despaired of menstruation (menopause)."

قَالَ أَبِي رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ فِي رِسَالَتِهِ إِلَيَّ اعْلَمْ يَا بُنَيَّ أَنَّ أَصْلَ التَّخْيِيرِ هُوَ أَنَّ اللَّهَ تَبَارَكَ وَ تَعَالَى أَنِفَ لِنَبِيِّهِ ص فِي مَقَالَةٍ قَالَتْهَا بَعْضُ نِسَائِهِ أَ يَرَى مُحَمَّدٌ أَنَّهُ لَوْ طَلَّقَنَا لَا نَجِدُ أَكْفَاءَنَا مِنْ قُرَيْشٍ يَتَزَّوَجُونَّا فَأَمَرَ اللَّهُ نَبِيَّهُ ص أَنْ يَعْتَزِلَ نِسَاءَهُ تِسْعاً وَ عِشْرِينَ لَيْلَةً فَاعْتَزَلَهُنَّ النَّبِيُّ ص فِي مَشْرَبَةِ أُمِّ إِبْرَاهِيمَ ثُمَّ نَزَلَتْ هَذِهِ الْآيَةُ- ۝ يا أَيُّهَا النَّبِيُّ قُلْ لِأَزْواجِكَ إِنْ كُنْتُنَّ تُرِدْنَ الْحَياةَ الدُّنْيا وَ زِينَتَها فَتَعالَيْنَ أُمَتِّعْكُنَّ وَ أُسَرِّحْكُنَّ سَراحاً جَمِيلًا وَ إِنْ كُنْتُنَّ تُرِدْنَ اللَّهَ وَ رَسُولَهُ وَ الدَّارَ الْآخِرَةَ فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ أَعَدَّ لِلْمُحْسِناتِ مِنْكُنَّ أَجْراً عَظِيماً ۝ فَاخْتَرْنَ اللَّهَ وَ رَسُولَهُ فَلَمْ يَقَعِ الطَّلَاقُ وَ لَوِ اخْتَرْنَ أَنْفُسَهُنَّ لَبِنَ‌.

My father (may Allah (swt) be pleased with him) said in his letter to me: "Know, my son, that the origin of the matter of giving the choice (to divorce) is that Allah (swt), the Blessed and Exalted, was displeased with a statement made by some of the Prophet's (peace be upon him and his family) wives. They said: 'Does Muhammad (sw) think that if he divorces us, we will not find suitable husbands from Quraysh to marry us?' So, Allah (swt) commanded His Prophet (peace be upon him and his family) to separate himself from his wives for twenty-nine nights. The Prophet (peace be upon him and his family) secluded himself in the chamber of Umm Ibrahim. Then this verse was revealed: 'O Prophet! Say to your wives: If you desire the life of this world and its adornment, then come, I will provide for you and release you in a gracious manner. But if you desire Allah (swt), His Messenger, and the Hereafter, then indeed Allah (swt) has prepared for the good-doers among you a great reward' (Surah Al-Ahzab 33:28-29). They chose Allah (swt) and His Messenger (sw), so divorce did not occur. But if they had chosen themselves, they would have been separated."

4810 - وَ فِي رِوَايَةِ أَبِي اَلصَّبَّاحِ اَلْكِنَانِيِّ : "أَنَّ زَيْنَبَ قَالَتْ لِرَسُولِ اَللَّهِ صَلَّى اَللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَ آلِهِ لاَ تَعْدِلُ وَ أَنْتَ رَسُولُ اَللَّهِ وَ قَالَتْ حَفْصَةُ إِنْ طَلَّقَنَا وَجَدْنَا فِي قَوْمِنَا أَكْفَاءَنَا مِنْ قُرَيْشٍ فَاحْتَبَسَ اَلْوَحْيُ عَنْ رَسُولِ اَللَّهِ صَلَّى اَللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَ آلِهِ تِسْعَةً وَ عِشْرِينَ يَوْماً فَأَنِفَ اَللَّهُ عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ لِرَسُولِهِ فَأَنْزَلَ اَللَّهُ: ۝ يٰا أَيُّهَا اَلنَّبِيُّ قُلْ لِأَزْوٰاجِكَ إِنْ كُنْتُنَّ تُرِدْنَ اَلْحَيٰاةَ اَلدُّنْيٰا وَ زِينَتَهٰا ۝ إِلَى قَوْلِهِ "أَجْراً عَظِيماً" فَاخْتَرْنَ اَللَّهَ وَ رَسُولَهُ فَلَمْ يَقَعِ اَلطَّلاَقُ وَ لَوِ اِخْتَرْنَ أَنْفُسَهُنَّ لَبِنَّ".

Hadith.4810 - In the narration of Abu al-Sabbah al-Kinani: "Zaynab said to the Messenger of Allah (swt) (peace be upon him and his family): 'You (sw) are not just, and You (sw) are the Messenger of Allah (swt)!' And Hafsa said: 'If He (sw) divorces us, we will find suitable husbands among our people from Quraysh.' Then, the divine revelation was withheld from the Messenger of Allah (swt) (peace be upon him and his family) for twenty-nine days. Allah (swt), the Mighty and Majestic, was displeased for His (swt) beloved Messenger (sw), so Allah (swt) revealed: 'O Prophet! Say to your wives: If you desire the life of this world and its adornment, then come, I will provide for you and release you in a gracious manner. But if you desire Allah (swt), His Messenger, and the Hereafter, then indeed Allah (swt) has prepared for the good-doers among you a great reward' (Surah Al-Ahzab 33:28-29). They chose Allah (swt) and His Messenger (sw), so divorce did not occur. But if they had chosen themselves, they would have been separated."

4811 - وَ رَوَى اِبْنُ أُذَيْنَةَ عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ مُسْلِمٍ عَنْ أَبِي جَعْفَرٍ عَلَيْهِ اَلسَّلاَمُ قَالَ: "إِذَا خَيَّرَهَا أَوْ جَعَلَ أَمْرَهَا بِيَدِهَا فِي غَيْرِ قُبُلِ عِدَّتِهَا مِنْ غَيْرِ أَنْ يُشْهِدَ شَاهِدَيْنِ فَلَيْسَ بِشَيْءٍ وَ إِنْ خَيَّرَهَا أَوْ جَعَلَ أَمْرَهَا بِيَدِهَا بِشَهَادَةِ شَاهِدَيْنِ فِي قُبُلِ عِدَّتِهَا فَهِيَ بِالْخِيَارِ مَا لَمْ يَتَفَرَّقَا فَإِنِ اِخْتَارَتْ نَفْسَهَا فَهِيَ وَاحِدَةٌ وَ هُوَ أَحَقُّ بِرَجْعَتِهَا وَ إِنِ اِخْتَارَتْ زَوْجَهَا فَلَيْسَ بِطَلاَقٍ ".

Hadith.4811 - Ibn Udhayna narrated from Muhammad ibn Muslim, from Abu Ja'far Imam Muhammad ibn Ali Al-Baqir (as), who said: "If a man gives his wife the choice (to stay with him or separate) or places the matter of divorce in her hands outside of her waiting period ('iddah) and without the testimony of two witnesses, then it is of no consequence. However, if he gives her the choice or places the matter in her hands with the testimony of two witnesses during her waiting period, then she has the option as long as they have not separated. If she chooses herself (i.e., separation), then it is counted as one divorce, and he has the right to take her back. But if she chooses her husband (to remain married), then it is not considered a divorce."

4812 - وَ رَوَى اِبْنُ مُسْكَانَ عَنِ اَلْحَسَنِ بْنِ زِيَادٍ عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ اَللَّهِ عَلَيْهِ اَلسَّلاَمُ قَالَ: "اَلطَّلاَقُ أَنْ يَقُولَ اَلرَّجُلُ لاِمْرَأَتِهِ اِخْتَارِي فَإِنِ اِخْتَارَتْ نَفْسَهَا فَقَدْ بَانَتْ مِنْهُ وَ هُوَ خَاطِبٌ مِنَ اَلْخُطَّابِ وَ إِنِ اِخْتَارَتْ زَوْجَهَا فَلَيْسَ بِشَيْءٍ أَوْ يَقُولَ أَنْتِ طَالِقٌ فَأَيَّ ذَلِكَ فَعَلَ فَقَدْ حَرُمَتْ عَلَيْهِ وَ لاَ يَكُونُ طَلاَقٌ وَ لاَ خُلْعٌ وَ لاَ مُبَارَاةٌ وَ لاَ تَخْيِيرٌ إِلاَّ عَلَى طُهْرٍ مِنْ غَيْرِ جِمَاعٍ بِشَهَادَةِ شَاهِدَيْنِ ".

Hadith.4812 - Ibn Muskan narrated from Al-Hasan ibn Ziyad, from Abu Abdullah (as), who said: "Divorce occurs when a man says to his wife, 'Choose (for yourself),' And if she chooses herself, then she is separated from him, and he becomes one of the suitors (khuṭṭāb). But if she chooses her husband, then it is of no consequence. Or (divorce occurs) if he says, 'You are divorced,' then whichever of these he does, she becomes prohibited for him. However, divorce (ṭalāq), annulment (khul'), mutual separation (mubāra'ah), or giving the wife a choice (takhyīr) is not valid except while she is in a state of purity (ṭuhr), without prior intercourse, and in the presence of two witnesses."

4813 - وَ رَوَى اَلْحَلَبِيُّ عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ اَللَّهِ عَلَيْهِ اَلسَّلاَمُ : فِي رَجُلٍ يُخَيِّرُ اِمْرَأَتَهُ أَوْ أَبَاهَا أَوْ أَخَاهَا أَوْ وَلِيَّهَا فَقَالَ "كُلُّهُمْ بِمَنْزِلَةٍ وَاحِدَةٍ إِذَا رَضِيَتْ".

Hadith.4813 - Al-Halabi narrated from Abu Abdullah (as) regarding a man who gives his wife the choice (to separate or stay) or delegates the decision to her father, brother, or guardian. Imam (as) said: "They are all in the same position, as long as she consents."

4814 - وَ رَوَى اَلْحَسَنُ بْنُ مَحْبُوبٍ عَنْ جَمِيلِ بْنِ صَالِحٍ عَنِ اَلْفُضَيْلِ بْنِ يَسَارٍ قَالَ: سَأَلْتُ أَبَا عَبْدِ اَللَّهِ عَلَيْهِ اَلسَّلاَمُ عَنْ رَجُلٍ قَالَ لاِمْرَأَتِهِ قَدْ جَعَلْتُ اَلْخِيَارَ إِلَيْكِ فَاخْتَارَتْ نَفْسَهَا قَبْلَ أَنْ تَقُومَ قَالَ "يَجُوزُ ذَلِكَ عَلَيْهِ" قُلْتُ فَلَهَا مُتْعَةٌ قَالَ "نَعَمْ" قُلْتُ فَلَهَا مِيرَاثٌ إِنْ مَاتَ اَلزَّوْجُ قَبْلَ أَنْ تَنْقَضِيَ عِدَّتُهَا قَالَ "نَعَمْ وَ إِنْ مَاتَتْ هِيَ وَرِثَهَا اَلزَّوْجُ".

Hadith.4814 - Al-Hasan ibn Mahbub narrated from Jamil ibn Salih, from Al-Fudayl ibn Yasar, who said: I asked Abu Abdullah (as) about a man who said to his wife, "I have given you the choice," and she chose herself before standing up. Imam (as) said: "That is valid against him." I asked: "Is she entitled to maintenance (compensation)?" Imam (as) said: "Yes." I asked: "Does she inherit if the husband dies before her waiting period ends?" Imam (as) said: "Yes, and if she dies, the husband inherits from her."

4815 - وَ رَوَى مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ مُسْلِمٍ عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ اَللَّهِ عَلَيْهِ اَلسَّلاَمُ أَنَّهُ قَالَ قَالَ: "مَا لِلنِّسَاءِ وَ اَلتَّخْيِيرَ إِنَّمَا ذَلِكَ شَيْءٌ خَصَّ اَللَّهُ بِهِ نَبِيَّهُ صَلَّى اَللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَ آلِهِ ".

Hadith.4815 - Muhammad ibn Muslim narrated from Abu Abdullah (as) that he said: "What do women have to do with takhyīr (being given the choice in divorce)? That is something which Allah specifically granted to His Prophet (may Allah bless him and his family)."

4816 - رَوَى حَمَّادٌ عَنِ اَلْحَلَبِيِّ عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ اَللَّهِ عَلَيْهِ اَلسَّلاَمُ قَالَ: "اَلْمُبَارَأَةُ أَنْ تَقُولَ اَلْمَرْأَةُ لِزَوْجِهَا لَكَ مَا عَلَيْكَ وَ اُتْرُكْنِي فَتَرَكَهَا إِلاَّ أَنَّهُ يَقُولُ لَهَا إِنِ اِرْتَجَعْتِ فِي شَيْءٍ مِنْهُ فَأَنَا أَمْلَكُ بِبُضْعِكِ". وَ رُوِيَ: "أَنَّهُ لاَ يَنْبَغِي لَهُ أَنْ يَأْخُذَ مِنْهَا أَكْثَرَ مِنْ مَهْرِهَا بَلْ يَأْخُذُ مِنْهَا دُونَ مَهْرِهَا وَ اَلْمُبَارَأَةُ لاَ رَجْعَةَ لِزَوْجِهَا عَلَيْهَا".

Hadith.4816 - Hammad narrated from Al-Halabi, from Abu Abdullah (as), who said: "Mutual separation (mubara'ah) is when a woman says to her husband, 'You are free from any obligation I have upon you, so leave me,' and he leaves her. However, he should say to her, 'If you reclaim anything from what you have given up, then I have authority over you.'" It is also narrated: "It is not appropriate for him to take more from her than her dowry; rather, he should take less than her dowry. In mutual separation (mubara'ah), the husband has no right to take her back."

اَلنُّشُوزُ قَدْ يَكُونُ مِنَ اَلرَّجُلِ وَ اَلْمَرْأَةِ جَمِيعاً فَأَمَّا اَلَّذِي مِنَ اَلرَّجُلِ فَهُوَ مَا قَالَ اَللَّهُ عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ فِي كِتَابِهِ ۝ وَ إِنِ اِمْرَأَةٌ خٰافَتْ مِنْ بَعْلِهٰا نُشُوزاً أَوْ إِعْرٰاضاً فَلاٰ جُنٰاحَ عَلَيْهِمٰا أَنْ يُصْلِحٰا بَيْنَهُمٰا صُلْحاً وَ اَلصُّلْحُ خَيْرٌ ۝ وَ هُوَ أَنْ تَكُونَ اَلْمَرْأَةُ عِنْدَ اَلرَّجُلِ لاَ تُعْجِبُهُ فَيُرِيدُ طَلاَقَهَا فَتَقُولُ لَهُ أَمْسِكْنِي وَ لاَ تُطَلِّقْنِي وَ أَدَعُ لَكَ مَا عَلَى ظَهْرِكَ وَ أُحِلُّ لَكَ يَوْمِي وَ لَيْلَتِي فَقَدْ طَابَ ذَلِكَ لَهُ رَوَى ذَلِكَ اَلْمُفَضَّلُ بْنُ صَالِحٍ عَنْ زَيْدٍ اَلشَّحَّامِ عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ اَللَّهِ عَلَيْهِ اَلسَّلاَمُ. فَإِذَا نَشَزَتِ الْمَرْأَةُ كَنُشُوزِ الرَّجُلِ فَهُوَ خُلْعٌ فَإِذَا كَانَ مِنَ الْمَرْأَةِ فَهُوَ أَنْ لَا تُطِيعَهُ فِي فِرَاشِهِ وَ هُوَ مَا قَالَ اللَّهُ عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ ۝ وَ اللَّاتِي تَخافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَ‌ وَ اهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِي الْمَضاجِعِ‌ وَ اضْرِبُوهُنَ‌ فَالْهَجْرُ أَنْ يُحَوِّلَ إِلَيْهَا ظَهْرَهُ وَ الضَّرْبُ بِالسِّوَاكِ وَ غَيْرِهِ ضَرْباً رَفِيقاً ۝ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ‌ فَلا تَبْغُوا عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلًا إِنَّ اللَّهَ كانَ عَلِيًّا كَبِيراً.

Disobedience (nushuz) can occur from both the man and the woman. As for the man's disobedience, it is as Allah (swt), the Mighty and Majestic, says in His Book: "And if a woman fears ill-treatment or aversion from her husband, there is no blame upon them if they reconcile between themselves, and reconciliation is better" (Surah An-Nisa 4:128) This refers to a situation where a woman is with her husband, but he is displeased with her and intends to divorce her. She then says to him, "Keep me and do not divorce me, and I will relinquish what is due to me and allow you my day and night." This arrangement becomes acceptable to him. This was narrated by Al-Mufaddal ibn Salih from Zayd Al-Shahham from Abu Abdullah (as). When a woman becomes disobedient (nashiz) like a man's disobedience, it leads to khulʿ (a form of divorce initiated by the wife). A woman's disobedience is when she does not obey her husband in matters of intimacy. This is as Allah (swt), the Mighty and Majestic, says: "And those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance [disobedience]-advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you, seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah (swt) is Most High, Most Great" (Surah An-Nisa 4:34) Forsaking them in bed means turning his back to her, and striking refers to gently striking with a miswak (tooth-stick) or something similar, in a kind manner. If they obey you, then do not seek a way against them, for Allah (swt) is Most High and Most Great.